If Life Was a Musical
by claramadesouffles
Summary: While fleeing Kiamo Ko and looking for a good place to hide, Elphie and our favorite scarecrow have a nice conversation.  One-Shot, Fiyeraba, Slightly humorous if you close one eye and squint with the other.  R&R!


**Hello, my fellow FanFiction-ians! This is the first Wicked story I am posting on FFnet! Personally, I am very attached to it. :) Hope you all like it, too!**

**I am posting this today because this is officially my first Wicked month-a-versary. It's been exactly one month (July 7, 2010) since I saw Wicked on Broadway with Mandy Gonzalez and Katie Rose Clarke, and I am completely obsessed with it now. I'm reading the book currently.**

**By the way, I based this off of the melting scene in the movie 'The Wizard of Oz', not the book.**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: I own-**

**Gregory Maguire: She owns nothing.**

**Stephen Schwartz: Zilch.**

**Winnie Holzman: Zero.**

**Cast of Wicked: Absolutely nothing.**

**Me: HEY! _I_ was going to say that.**

**Everyone: Shuuuuuuuuuuure. **

**Me: Am I really that predictable?**

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_While fleeing Kiamo Ko and trying to find a good spot to hide, Elphie and our favorite scarecrow have a nice little conversation…_

"You overdid that melting scene a little bit, Elphaba."

"_What_?"

"'What a world! What a world!' Really, Fabala?"

"Fiyero."

"You could've melted a little faster, too."

"What?"

"And did you have to catch me on _fire_? I would say that it hurt, but it didn't, but still."

"_Fiyero_."

"Maybe you could get an acting coach or something. I mean, you'd never make it on stage in a play or a musical or something."

"A musical? I can't even sing."

"Wouldn't it be funny if life was a musical?"

"Sure."

"Like, Glinda singing about how popularity is everything or you singing about defying gravity, or you and Glinda expressing how much you loathed each other way back when…"

"How did you even know that?"

"Glinda told me. And she made it kind of obvious when she gave you that atrocious hat"

"The hat wasn't _that _bad, was it?"

"Um…sure it wasn't. But wouldn't it be weird? Really weird?"

"Fiyero."

"I wonder if we would do a duet. Like a love song?"

"Sweet Oz…"

"Hm…do you think _Glinda _and I would've done a duet? No, maybe not. Maybe we would sing part of a song together, but not all of one. Maybe the farm girl would have a song."

"Well-"

"Nah, that sounds like something for a different musical. Oh, maybe you and Glinda would sing a song when you went to the Emerald City the first time! Or maybe there would be a song for when you supposedly melted - which brings us back to the 'you're a terrible melter' topic."

"For the love of Oz!"

"Well, you _are_."

"Fiyero, if you don't shut your straw-filled mouth, I am going to shove you off of this broomstick. You'll fall to the ground and explode into a pile of straw confetti."

"…?"

"How did you even say that in words?"

"Dot dot dot question mark."

"Okay then."

"Maybe our duet would go something like -"

"_Fiyero Tiggular._"

"Sorry."

"…but what were you going to say about our duet?"

"You don't want to hear it so I won't tell you."

"Yes I do!"

"No, you don't."

"Okay then. I don't."

"…darn."

"If you want to tell me, _tell me_!"

"Okay…uhm…"

"Any day now."

"I forgot."

"Great."

"Did you know that even the side profile of your face is gorgeous and breathtaking and is the entire reason I keep forgetting what I was going to say?"

"Did you know that if you keep talking you'll be a pile of confetti?"

"I'll shut up now."

"And thank you, by the way. For the compliment."

"You're welcome."

"Am I more of a forest green or a cactus green?"

"What?"

"I'm curious."

"Maybe a seasick green."

"_What did you just call me_?"

"I mean…a seasick green in the most pleasant sense of the title…can I change my answer?"

"Don't throw him off the broomstick…don't throw him off the broomstick…"

"Sorry. Seasick green is a very close relative to cactus green."

"So am I seasick or a cactus?"

"Which do you prefer?"

"A forest green."

"The best I can give you is a forest of cactuses."

"Fine. Wait, isn't the proper plural of cactus cacti?"

"How should I know? My head is stuffed with _straw._"

"I thought the wonderful wizard gave you brains."

"Even though that was the most sarcastic thing I've ever heard, I'll reply anyway. No, it was a piece of paper. Apparently I have a degree in thinkology."

"What? Thinkology?"

"I know, I know. Boq seemed happy with his heart though, and the lion seemed courageous, I guess."

"And the farm brat is gone."

"Good news."

"Where did she say she lived?"

"Kansas or something like that?"

"Something like that."

"Let's never go there."

"Done."

**Reviews make me happy. :)**


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